When a close friend mentioned briefly how she won a 4th place on a half-marathon race held in our city, I was surprised because that was a huge event, and being forth girl is an INCREDIBLE success. So her running pace was around 4:55 which is a respectful pace among female runners. In comparison with… Continue reading Deep shame
I felt so lonely last night. It was so much easier to be distracted with anything like job, looks, fantasies, or whatever comparing to being exposed to yourself. I guess that I am feeling lonely for a long time, it was just so well covered by chasing so called life. And now, I am nothing… Continue reading Grief pt IV
Yesterday, I wrote about my feelings regarding job issue I am currently dealing with. Disappointment - that is crucial feeling I recognized but only after writing my thoughts. I am disappointed. The best solution for my issue would be - a job offer starting ASAP but with a combination of apologize. One - I am… Continue reading Grieving looks like a right way.
What if I start to use all of my knowledge in day to day activities? What if I start to live life with full usage of my soul my mind and my emotions. What if only thing that will guide me will turn out to be pure me without any additions such as fear or… Continue reading Grieving is sunny inside but frozen on the surface.
I want to write about my need to be recognized as a beautiful one. I was writing a lot about my appearance issue and I concluded one post with a sentence: I don`t know how my body looks like because I was always in a quest of changing it. I was writing a lot about… Continue reading Grief for my beauty.
For the last two days I was thinking of how something that I was searching for while dating and at the same time, something that I was so afraid of, was cure for injustice I experienced in early age. I desired to witness a transformation which will occur while dating unavailable man. I desired my… Continue reading The cure.
This morning, I was reading a lot about neurosis. There are different types of it, but the root for all of them is unresolved conflict within us. Behavioral patterns that are formed around this unresolved issue are there to help us, to keep us protected. We are protected by the energy that is within us… Continue reading Love
I don`t want this to sound like - you will learn most out of your bad experiences. When someone seeks answer when something unpleasant occurs, I don`t think that words such as - that awful thing in a certain amount of time will turn out to be a great experience, and now, burn in your… Continue reading Anger, my friend
While I was running this morning, I was trying to explain to myself how liking him is inappropriate because liking him can do harm. What I was trying was to explain to myself how my emotions of liking him were not good. They cannot be good if they are painful. And I felt sort of… Continue reading In love
Sometimes hard to do, but it is a awesome starting point - the acceptance. To accept your success, choices and decisions. To accept others and to accept you own emotions. I am struggling with this one. A lot. I like to run away because it is easier. Running away from truth. To leave things undone… Continue reading Acceptance